The Long Way to Say Goodbye

Dear Forget-Me-Not-Eyes,


It seems like with you gone I'm wordless, like you plucked each vowel and consonant from my mouth and left me tongue tied, trying to make up a new language just to reach you.  I've spent months counting the things I've done wrong and the stories I've forgotten and all the ways I could say those two words that to you, don't seem to mean a single thing.


I'm left with memories of cornstalk hair wound as tight as my nerves and a tongue like quicksilver every time I hear your name. I remember those things you said, the things I forgave you for time and time again and my eyes prickle and my hands clench, making half moons in my palms that make me think of all the stories you've read that said the moon holds magic. But fairytales don't exist and our story certainly didn't have a happy ending. Now, the moon just reminds me of nothing but the venom-laced messages you sent me late at night, the words stupidselfishhopelessI'mdone burned into my eyelids, haunting me when insomnia tightens relentlessly around my brain.


I have to thank you, though.
Because even though you may go on forgetting, I'll go on fighting. Every forkful, every breath, I take to prove you wrong. Every moment longer I live, every word I write, every step I take, it's all for you.


Love [because I'll never forget, ever],

Jess