and, mother's day is just a week away, too. it's hard. i'm not about to say it's anything but. and when sandwiched with an avalanche of ohyourthighgapyourspineyou'resoskinnyhowthinisyourwaists by a friend of my boy's, it makes it harder. we've started talking more, much more about anything and everything. about my past and his. and, about my mom. we couldn't go to the beach together because of car issues, but instead we spent a lot of time talking about her the other night. stories about her from the good days, and the bad. she would have liked him --appreciated his sarcasm and dedication and would have had fun joking with him, for sure. and after that, i cried. i let myself cry in front of him, where normally i try to stop myself or he tries to stop me because he can't stand to see me sad. but, i just laid there for a while and he kissed every tear away.
and today's his birthday, so we were able to wake up together in his bed and i could wish him a happy birthday as soon as he opened his eyes. he finally got to open the present i had been keeping from him for weeks (i got him a copy of the world ends with you for the ds, since he's a huge gamer, and made the insert and instruction booklet into his "card"), and now we're about to go out to brunch. i'm going to have dinner with his family tonight, birthday cake, and and ben & jerry's movie night. and i'm going to do my best, and be okay, and be happy. dammit, i am going to be happy.